a heart at peace

i have followers? yippee! 

i've never really been a good writer. it's the organization part that

gets me. probably because i don't like to do rough drafts...one time

and one time only will you get me to sit and write about a certain topic

(minus like my last paper in college, which was going to be submitted for

publication! then i was ON IT). 

so, while i could use this writing experience to try to work on that,

i've decided just to warn you that my posts may be unorganized. 

snippets of information, perhaps. no flow.

first non-flowing piece: verse of the day that i got in the email: 

A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the
bones.

Proverbs 14:30

love it. it's true; it's like you can feel what it's describing when you're

in it. being able to be at peace in my heart has taken practice. i feel like

i've learned it just like i'd learn the pythagorean theorem or something. 

after practice, you don't have to have the formula at hand anymore. i was

telling meredith the other day that i constantly have in the back of my mind

that we are not of this world, nor are we supposed to act like we are of

this world. remembering that has REALLY helped me when my 23-year-old, a&m

grad, newly married female body WANTS things....stupid little things that mean

nothing and cost money. of course, when i'm actually IN the store i'm blinded

by this WANT and i don't think it's stupid or worldly, but as soon as i remember

that we are to be set apart, it's easy to come back to reality. and because of

the BLINDING power of these THINGS, i take very seriously the fact that i do not

go to a store unless i need something specific. nor do i browse. same for 

online shopping. 

in the same way, a convicted sex offender who does not want to be tempted to 

offend again will remove himself from places like parks, schools, etc. if you

don't see it, you can't want it (ish). that last sentence applies more to me

than the sex offender i suppose.

anyway, when you realize you don't have to mess with (and God doesn't want you to

mess with) worldly things like having the latest fashions and OMG the latest

electronics, it's FREEING. let all that crap go by you, watch people's

obsessions, watch them not being fulfilled by it, remember you are called to be

the opposite of what's popular. you can be fulfilled by the Holy Spirit who

lives in you.

i think Jesus has helped me chill. in a world where anxiety runs high (which i 

partake in in large crowds) and material things define who you are, it's really

hard to be content with what you have and who you are. i'm thankful to God that 

He now lives in me, so i don't have to worry about 'who i am' - it's taken care of. 

chill, okay?

[punkin after a hard came of tennis]